Send My Love To Heaven
by LeFoxy
Summary: AU oneshot. To all KxB fans, please read this fiction. This is very interesting story. You might love it. Character death. Please do read:.


_**This is a one-shot and a AU (Alternative Universe)**_

_**Just read it okay. Please do tell me on what you think about it. I would really appreciate it in a review.**_

**_This one-shot is really hard to make. I was up till midnight because of it. And please do not mind the entering or spacing too much, because I really made it that way. Okay, enough talking and on with the story. _**

_**Note: you might need a tissue for this one. **_

**Send My Love to Heaven**

What can I say about a girl I loved since I  
was  
ten... that I love the way she laughs at  
me when I  
commit mistakes, the way she fusses over  
silly  
things and even the way she cries over  
some sad  
silly late night show? Somehow, I wished  
I could  
have told her that I love her but now  
there's no hope  
in doing so. For now, it's rather too late—  
too  
late for  
me to do so.

She was my best friend and I have known  
her since  
we were small. She knew all my secrets,  
which  
reveals my feelings for her, that I love her  
not only  
because she's pretty and smart but also  
the way  
she laughs at everything and the way she  
sees life  
and love.

I could still remember the first time we  
met; I was  
five years old then. It was one windy  
afternoon  
having no one to play with except for my  
best  
friend, Hiei. He and his family just  
moved out to  
transfer at a neighboring state because  
his father  
got promoted. And so I climbed up our  
tree house,  
I saw a moving truck coming down the  
street. I  
watched it approaching and noticed a  
family station  
wagon following it. It stopped in front of  
the house  
and out came a family. I was about to  
glance away  
when out came the loveliest girl I've  
seen. She was  
four years old that time but then even at  
an early  
age she was a beauty. She had long  
curly hair,  
which reached almost to her waist. She  
had fair  
complexion and eyes which could make  
a man  
lose his heart into them. I continued to  
watch her  
when suddenly she looked up and saw me  
watching them in the tree house window.  
I was  
about to duck when she smiled and  
waved her  
hand. I waved back then watched in  
amazement as  
I saw her running towards the tree house.  
So I went  
to the edge of the ladder and  
said, "Would you like  
to come up?" she answered, "May I?" So  
I help her  
climb up and when she reached the top  
she then  
turned to me and said, "By the way, my  
name's  
Botan, what's yours?" I answered, "My  
name is  
Shuiichi but then you can call me  
Kurama." She  
smiled and said, "Well I like your name.  
Hey your  
tree house's neat!" then I  
replied, "Thanks! Hiei and  
I made this. This used to be our hide out.  
We used  
to goof around, play ball and go biking  
together. He  
was my best friend and I kind of miss him  
you  
know." She smiled and said "I'm here  
now, we  
could do things you do with Hiei and I  
could be  
your new best friend too. I never had a  
boy for a  
friend before so it could be exciting to  
have one. I  
could learn how to play ball and I have  
my bicycle  
so we could go biking together. Now how  
does that  
sound to you?" I smiled and said, "Well  
that  
sounds good enough." Then she held her  
hand and  
said, "It's a deal then!" So that's how it  
started.

So we became best friends and it was  
kind of  
strange at first for she was a girl and there  
are  
things which I was little bit hesitant to  
indulge her  
like catching frogs, swimming in the lake  
and  
climbing trees, but then she tried and did  
everything just to please me. There was  
even a  
time when she fell off the bike trying to  
catch up  
with me in a race we had and I was the  
one who  
bandaged her scraped knee. I could still  
remember  
the time when she hit the window of our  
neighbor  
when we were playing baseball and it  
was I who  
talked to Mr. Taguro and promised to  
pay for  
the damage, which meant having to  
loose a week's  
allowance. I remembered the time when  
I fell off the  
tree when I tried to rescue a little kitten  
because  
Botan was near to tears when she saw the  
helpless  
kitten trapped in a branch. I even fought  
with the  
tough guy when they teased Botan and  
made her  
cry and I ended up having a black eye  
and a  
bruised cheek. I remember Botan crying as  
she  
placed an ice bag over the damaged eye  
and later  
gave it a get-well kiss. I did everything to  
please  
her and gave everything her little heart  
desires.

The lake was our favorite hang out. We  
had our  
Saturday swim routine. We would pack  
food and  
later eat them under the big oak tree.  
There was a  
special branch in which the two of us  
could sit  
together and tell each other's dreams.  
She dreams  
of being a Ballerina and she knows my  
dream of  
becoming a Doctor. She never laughs at  
my  
dreams and pursuits even if they were  
quite  
impossible. It made me like her even  
more.

As years went by, I noticed that my  
feelings  
towards her were slowly changing.  
Somehow, I  
thought it was just a simple crush case.  
But when I  
started thinking about her at night,  
dreaming of her  
and having the feeling of wanting to be  
with her all  
the time, I thought it was something  
different,  
something that made me feel strange,  
but then it  
was exhilarating feeling. It made me feel  
so alive.  
Whenever our hands touch, I could feel  
the tingling  
sensation in my spine. Once, when we  
were at the  
lake having our Saturday swim routine  
and as I  
carried her towards the water edge, I had  
the  
feeling of not wanting to let go. I just  
wanted that  
moment to continue hoping it would  
never end. I  
then realized I was slowly falling in love  
with my  
best friend.

Many times I tried to deny the feeling for  
I was  
scared to imagine what would happen if  
ever I'd try  
to tell her how I feel about her. I was  
scared  
because she might think that I'm taking  
advantage  
of her and our friendship. I was afraid of  
losing her  
so I just kept my feeling hidden.

We reached the age of fifteen and I  
noticed that  
Botan grew lovelier each day. How my  
heart aches  
wherever I see boys glance her way. I  
want to  
punch their noses as I watch them talking  
to her  
giving compliments, flowers and  
chocolates. There  
were times when I watch her at a distance  
mixed  
feelings of anger and hurt because it  
hurts so much  
to know that there were so many things I  
wanted to  
tell her but then I could not do so. There  
were so  
many presents which I long to give her  
but then I  
could not for she might see me only as a  
friend. I  
was also scared of letting her know how I  
feel  
about her as much as losing her.

Then one day, I just learned from a  
friend that she  
already had a boyfriend. At first, I tried to  
convince  
myself that it was just a rumor. Her  
boyfriend was  
Koenma, a popular senior, who was the  
heartthrob of  
the campus. She, being the cheerleader  
was close  
to the basketball team which Koenma was the  
captain. When I saw them walking  
together at the  
parking lot that afternoon, I watched her  
with my  
heart slowly breaking into pieces. I saw  
her wave at  
me but I just pretended not to see her for  
I was  
scared that she might see in my eyes the  
pain I'm  
feeling inside because of seeing her with  
another  
guy.

Those days that followed where the  
saddest days  
of my life. How my heart aches when I  
see her  
walk by me with him at her side. every  
time we  
meet in hallways and I see him around  
her, there's  
a feeling inside me that makes me want  
to grab her  
away from him. How it hurts to see the  
girl I long  
possess was now owned by somebody  
else. That  
special smile I long for her to cast on me  
was now  
casted on him as she passes by me she  
doesn't  
know that I whisper the words "God how I  
love  
you."

Then one faithful day they broke up. She  
came too  
me that evening crying on my shoulder.  
They had a  
big fight and it ended up to their break  
up. Mixed  
feelings were scaring me inside. I was  
happy  
because she was free and maybe I would  
have the  
chance of telling her my true feelings for  
her but  
then I was feeling so bad because she is  
crying her  
heart out just for him. At that time, I was  
not quite  
sure of what I wanted to do.

So we found ourselves doing what we did  
in old  
days with our Saturday swim routine,  
spending  
time in our tree house. We still enjoyed  
doing  
childish pranks for we still are both young  
at heart.

So many chances I had for me to confess  
my  
feelings for her but still I couldn't bring  
myself  
to her  
for I was scared of losing her once more. I  
once  
lost her, now I could not bear of losing  
her again by  
telling her I love her. So I just kept my  
feelings  
even  
if it was bursting to be expressed from my  
aching  
heart.

It was a week from our JS Prom, we were  
seated  
at the branch of an oak tree drying  
ourselves after  
our afternoon swim when she said, "I was  
wondering Kurama if you would like to be my  
partner?" It just got out of my wits for it  
was like a  
dream I never thought would happen. It  
took me  
awhile to answer her, "I thought there are  
so many  
boys who would die for you to be their  
partner?" So  
she turned away and quietly said, "Well I  
just  
thought I would like to spend that night  
with my  
best friend." Then she continued in a  
whisper I  
could barely hear, "Don't you want to die  
just like  
them to be my partner Kurama?" I was too  
stunned to  
speak for it came close for me to blurt my  
feelings  
for her. We we're silent for a while until I  
finally  
whispered, "I would be happy to be your  
partner  
Botan." The she smiled and suddenly  
kissed my  
cheek. I could hardly contain the joy I felt  
that  
time.  
I saw her turned red and bowed her head.  
Suddenly  
she stood up and run towards the water  
saying, "Last one to reach the water treats  
to  
sundae fudge!" I ran slowed up so that I  
would lose  
which meant having to have her with me  
for another  
three hours or more.

Our Prom night came. I bought a new  
tuxedo and  
poured almost the entire bottle of  
perfume. I went  
to fetch Botan. Botan's mother greeted me  
and I went  
to sit in the living room waiting for her to  
come  
down. I was talking to her father when I  
heard her  
say, "How do I look?" I look up and saw  
her lovelier  
than ever in a strapless white dress with  
her hair  
flowing around her face. I stood up and  
opened my  
mouth but found out I could not find my  
voice. Then  
I got her hand shakily fastened the  
corsage around  
her wrist and whispered, "To the loveliest  
girl in the  
whole world." She then asked, "Is that  
true?" I  
nodded and she smiled and I smiled back  
then I  
turned to open the door for her.

When we arrived at the gymnasium we  
hardly  
recognized our classmates. Gone were  
the jeans  
and T-shirts. They were replaced with  
tuxedos and  
gowns. Then I held out her hand bowed  
and said,"  
Would you give me the honor of your first  
dance?"  
She laughed and curtseyed. Then I led  
her to the  
dance floor.

It was like a dream coming true, a  
moment of  
enchantment. I was there dancing with  
the only girl  
I ever loved. She was smiling up to me,  
as we were  
slowly moving in a smooth gliding  
motion. I found  
myself lost as I stared down to her  
sparkling eyes.  
The curls of her long hair were like waves  
enhancing her beautiful face. There were  
so many  
things I wanted to tell her that moment. I  
wanted to  
tell that she was the most beautiful girl  
that  
night. I  
wanted to tell her that she would always  
be the  
beacon of light in my darkness, but what I  
wanted  
to tell her the most was that I love her. I  
drew  
up all  
my courage and bent to whisper it in her  
ear but  
suddenly the music stopped and the  
magic was  
gone. I came close to telling her, but still  
haven't  
done it.

We walked towards the table and found  
ourselves  
surrounded by friends. I asked her if she  
wanted a  
drink, she nodded and so I went to get  
one. It took  
me a long time to get one and when I  
returned to  
our table, she was gone. I asked her  
friend, Keiko,  
where she was but she told me that she  
doesn't  
know. So I went and search for her.

As I was searching for her, I reached the  
garden.  
There I saw two silhouette figures  
outlined by the  
moon's silvery light. They were so close  
to each  
other. I could never describe the feeling I  
had when  
I recognized the white dress Botan was  
wearing that  
night. I just turned and left the  
gymnasium. Since  
that night, I avoided her. Many times she  
tried  
talking to me but I never gave her the  
chance to do  
so. I was afraid to hear her say that she  
loves Koenma  
and not me. I would rather have left in  
ignorance of  
her true feelings for me than to hear from  
those  
dreaded words and feel my hope crush  
and my  
heart break. I didn't return her calls. I  
would  
not see  
her if she comes into our house. In the  
hallways,  
as she approaches I would go to another  
direction.  
It also hurts to do those things but then I  
thought  
that was the best way to forget her. Those  
months  
were tormenting but still I kept my pride.

The day of our graduation came. I was  
planning to  
take up medicine at a neighboring state  
and was to  
move out the next day. As the program  
ended, she  
approached me and handed me a rose.  
As she  
stared at me. There was something in her  
eyes I  
couldn't describe. There was sadness in  
them and  
when she smiled it wasn't the same smile  
she had.  
I wanted to hug her at that moment, tell  
her that I  
love her but then she turned and walked  
away from  
me.

So I moved out the next day as I  
planned. Luckily, I  
was accepted at the university. I  
concentrated with  
my studies but still I think of her at night. I  
was  
always wondering if she thinks of me too.  
I tried  
hard not to think of her but still I could  
not stop  
myself from loving her. Each  
achievement I have  
was done for her. I thought that if I will be  
successful one day, I would be able to  
tell her that  
I love her and by that time, I'm worthy of  
having her.

It was a year after our graduation when I  
decided to  
return home and see her again. I thought  
a year is  
too much for me not to see her and  
during the past  
year I felt like a person lost in the desert  
and only  
the sight of her could quench the thirst I  
have  
inside. As I got off the plane, I went  
home directly,  
desperate to get to her house desperate  
to see  
her, to hug her. Then I would tell her that  
I missed  
her and that I have loved her for a long  
time. This  
time I am determined to let her know my  
true  
feelings for her and I could not contain  
anymore the  
love I have for her.

I reached their house; I saw her younger  
sister and I  
approached her. I smiled at her but I  
noticed she  
didn't smile back. I was confused for she  
used to  
be a cheerful lassie just like my dear Botan.  
I then  
asked," Hi Hinageshi! I guess you're surprised  
why I'm  
here. Well I just want to visit you and I  
was also  
hoping to see Botan. I kind of miss her you  
know.  
Ummm...by the way have you seen  
her?" All I  
saw was sadness in her eyes as she replied  
quietly "Come follow me."

I was confused with the way she's acting  
but still I  
followed her. As we were walking, I was  
trying to  
indulge her in a conversation but just  
answered my  
questioned briefly. Then I realized that  
she was  
leading me to the direction of the lake. It  
was still  
the same as I left it, with the same oak  
tree Botan  
and I used to climb up. I smiled upon  
remembering  
the kiss Botan gave me when I agreed to  
be her  
partner. It's been one of the happiest  
days in my  
life and I realized that I missed Botan  
more than I  
thought. Then Hinageshi stopped walking and  
pointed to  
the tree. She then whispered, "There's  
Botan."

I looked at where she was pointing and  
saw a  
newly dug tomb with the name of the girl  
I ever  
loved. I could not believe at what I saw  
and  
desperately tried convincing myself that  
this is all  
just a nightmare and I would soon wake  
up.

I stared at Hinageshi in disbelief with her eyes  
searching for explanations and slowly  
started  
saying," It has been a week since she  
died. She  
died of Leukemia, but even though she  
was sick,  
she never stopped thinking about you. It  
was even  
your name she uttered before she died.  
She asked  
us to bury her here for she always regards  
this  
place as a place of LOVE. She said that  
this is  
where she had spent the happiest days  
and that  
was when she was with you. By the way,  
she also  
asked me to give you this." She handed  
me a  
parcel and with that she left.

I slowly opened the parcel and saw that it  
contained the dried orchid from the  
corsage I gave  
her for our prom. Then at the bottom I  
saw a letter.  
It was dated last month. I opened it with  
shaking  
hands and started reading...

I know by this time you read this letter I'm  
gone. I  
just want to tell you that I feel very lucky  
and  
thankful to God that I had a friend like  
you. I would  
also like you to know that I had left  
something  
inside, something I kept from you all  
these years. I  
love you Kurama, not in a friendly way but  
as one who  
would feel like spending the rest of my  
life with. I  
have always loved you even from the  
start. I guess  
it just bloomed each day that's why the  
happiest  
days of my life was when you were by my  
side.  
You just don't know how I dreamed of you  
at night  
and wake up in the morning and dream  
no more for  
you are with me. When you are away, I  
can't stop  
crying because I'm afraid to think that you  
are with  
another girl. I just can't bear to see you  
with  
another girl. I just want you all to myself.  
I may  
sound selfish but that's how I feel. Each  
time you  
held me close to you was like a dream  
coming true  
for to be close to you and feel your heart  
beating  
next to mine was heaven. So many  
things I did so  
that you will learn to love me but I  
NEVER saw a  
hint. I did everything to please you  
because I love  
you so much that I even tried to fool  
myself that  
you're in love with me too. So many  
nights I've  
cried when I think of myself unloved by  
you. Well  
you might think that what I'm saying are  
lies but, I  
tell you, my heart speaks the truth for I  
cannot bear  
telling a lie to the one I love.

I know you might be thinking of Koenma but I  
just did  
that to make you jealous, to make you  
see me as  
a young woman, capable of loving and  
not as the  
little girl you used to play with.  
Sometimes I  
imagined that you were jealous and  
fooled myself  
that it was a sign that you feel something  
for me  
too. When Koenma and I broke up and I  
came crying,  
I just did that to know how you would  
react and  
with that I'll know that you love me too.  
But I failed  
for you didn't give me any clue. When  
our prom  
night came, you just don't know how  
happy I was  
when you handed me the corsage and  
saying that I  
was the loveliest girl in the whole world.  
While we  
were dancing, I wanted so desperately to  
hear you  
say that you love me too but you NEVER  
did.  
When Koenma came and pleaded me to  
give him a  
second chance, I was scared that you  
might see  
us talking. I didn't want you to get the  
wrong  
impression so I told him we would talk in  
the  
garden. There I explained to him that it's  
you whom  
I really love. What happened next was  
that I found  
you missing and later learned that you  
were  
searching for me, I just concluded that  
you saw us  
together. The next day, I tried to explain  
but then  
you never gave me a chance to do so.  
You  
continuously avoided me and never knew  
how  
much pain I've experienced that time. I  
felt the  
world crushing on me. In our Graduation  
day, when  
I approached you, I wanted to tell you  
how much I  
love you but I decided that I just couldn't  
do it. I  
could not bear to hear that all you feel  
for me is  
just brotherly hand of love. For I want you  
to love  
me as a woman and not as a girl or  
playmate. So I  
just turned away and left.

Now that saying I LOVE YOU might be  
too late,  
still I want you to know that I will always  
love you  
and my heart has always been and will  
be yours  
alone.

P.S.  
Think of me sometimes... and always  
remember  
that loving you was the best thing that  
ever  
happened in my life.

I felt my tears falling as I folded the  
letter.

I wanted  
to shout out to let her know that I love  
her, if  
not as  
much, but more than she did for me. I  
love her  
more than anything in this world. I knelt  
touching  
the soil of her grave and rain started to  
fall. I  
continued crying softly and  
whispered, "Oh God,  
Send My Love To Heaven."

**_I know that it's very sad, but what do you think about it. Please review me. And thanks a lot for taking the time to read "Send My Love To Heaven". _**

_**In memorable of my brother's ex-girlfriend: she's a bitch for letting go of my brother. Eventhough she's not dead---yet. **_


End file.
